Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize