I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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