Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Holy shit dude........stairs
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
