i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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