im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
