She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
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