Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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