no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
