Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
