After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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