Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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