i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize