the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I need a beard to bite.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
