Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Randomize
