I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Randomize
