I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Randomize
