Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
where are my eyebrows?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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