Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
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