I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
