so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize