how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
