Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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