he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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