i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
A+ Viking dick
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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