She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
3pm strippers are depressing
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
