shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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