I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
