Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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