Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
