Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
