You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
