We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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