I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
