Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
