So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
