Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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