this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
