Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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