I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
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