Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
