Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize