I'm sorry my penis didn't work
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
