Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
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