Best friends brother. Beat that.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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