Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
