I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
