I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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