you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I'm at about main and main street
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
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