do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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