omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
