They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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