Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
