I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
wow bdsm is so cute
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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