I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize