My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
